It was their way of saying, "I think you're so great you can do anything." But it came out, "Why won't you do better? You never live up to your potent...al. You're a failure." I guess my subconscious started to believe it after the 10,000th or 20,000th time I heard that I was, somehow, not worthy. So I was set on a course to prove them correct.That was then. Once I understood why I did self-destructive things, the affirmation of my worthlessness lost its power over me. Even if I had done unworthy. "Antoine will be all right, ma chere," the little emperor would insist. "You mustn't worry. So... he has to do a little time; it won't hurt him, eh? He gambled for big stakes and lost. He's lucky he's got the syndicate behind him... otherwise, he could end up with twenty years." Then, he would take her hands inside his own little fat ones and hold them possessively. "But don't you worry about a thing, Cheri. I'll see that you're taken care of. You'll come to live with Uncle Gaston, eh? One big. There was a small but very strong building that was brightly lit. I walked up to the automated teller and entered my account number. I hit deposit and chit before dumping the first slip bag full of credit chits into the deposit box. I closed it and let them spill into the automated counter before opening the box again and dumping the next bag.The last bag I hit the screen for pad or sheets before dumping it in. I hit total after closing the box and waited until it flashed the total amount. I. .. even when her lover is also her son!" But shit, Mom! I don't get it! You're so... so... wild! I mean... you're not like you were a couple of days ago!" Terry said."I suppose I have changed a bit, darling! Let's say that I've decided to exercise my... desires... and it just happens that I desire you, Terry! After all, darling, I'm getting old! I don't want to waste away in a rocking chair or some terrible thing like that! My little pussy would just shrivel up to nothing! I am thirty-six years.
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